Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Week Five

Lady and Gentlemen,

Welcome to the Shark Tank!

Gophirs 70.44 - Fumblers 69.12

In a squeaker of a contest, the Gophirs (4-0) edged the luckless Fumblers (0-4) by 1.32 points. Ahman Green was the difference, having rushed for 176 yards and two scores. The Fumblers seemed to have everything going this week, finding stellar play from QB Steve McNair (15 of 16, 3 TDs), wideout Marvin Harrison (158 yards, 3 TDs) and both Fumbler running backs (a combined 254 yards, 2 TDs). Fumbler players were seen to be dancing early in the fourth quarter, but the celebration proved to be too early. Green was called out by Fumbler WR, J.J. Stokes, during the game. Green said this afterwards, "No big deal when the other team tells you that you're being beat, I can't say much about that when you are being beat. But when some stanky, fourth string receiver who's last big game was played in LA where they don't got pro ball--then I get mad." Coach Rob on Green's play: "Hey, he did great and bailed us out from some mediocre performances this week. I'm sure glad that Greenie didn't put the ball on the ground." Let down by any lack of a kicking game, coach Jung was reported to have called their kicker, Martin Gramatica, a "Janakowski twin" and that the older of the Gramatica brothers was "not as good as [younger brother] Bill".

Sleepas 65.79 - Football Team 36.42

The Sleepas (3-1) handily beat the Football Team (2-2) to extend both their win streak and Football's losing streak to two. Behind the solid play of backup QB Marc Bulger (28 of 42, 2 TDs, 1 Int) and RB Jamal Lewis (159 combined yards, 1 TD), the Sleepas played well in the absence of star halfback, Marshall Faulk. The hard luck Football Team could not get a ground game going with Cory Dillon and Kevin Faulk combining for only 32 yards and a fumble. Things should get better for the Team next week when star RB, Ricky Williams, returns from a vacation in the Bahamas; however, questions still remain about the QB position and their youth movement. Fans all over Football Team nation have been in an uproar with the release of the team's highly controversial draft pick, Kyle Boller, earlier in the week. On his release, Boller commented, "It wasn't all that bad of a week, the Bears got to stick it to the Trojans."

Stews Crew 2 78.98 - liusers 75.79

In another hard luck loss, the liusers (1-3) got beat out by Peyton Manning and the Crew (3-1). The liusers strategy running the fun and gun this year looked to finally be working when WR Randy Moss got on track for 3 trips to the end zone despite a tough Crew defense. Once again, the liusers were let down by a lack of a ground attack that would have kept the ball away from Peyton Manning, who crushed the liusers with 6 touchdowns on 20 of 25 passing for 314 yards. After that, the Crew defense and kicking game finished off what otherwise was a good effort by the liusers. Said coach Chang, "Total team effort. No, I take that back, it was a STRONG team effort. Peyton played strong, Jeff Wilkins played strong, that D played strong. Like me, I guess!"

The Cough Drops 57.66 - flying pigskins 52.75

In the battle for the second division, the Cough Drops (2-2, 6th place) barely got by the flying pigskins (1-3, 7th place). The pigskins were unable to field their star QB, Daunte Culpepper and had to go with their backup plan, involving a contest winner of a local radio station promotion. The Drops only needed the 187 yards (1 TD) from LaDainian Tomlinson to control, and win, the game. At the end, the pigskins, down by six, had one more chance at the win when temporary QB, Scott Bloward--a local cashier at Tower Records and Van Halen fan--threw a surprisingly accurate fourth down strike from the 19 to wide receiver Marty Booker with time running out. Booker was turned back at the 3 inch line by the Drops defense. Coach Len said, "Booker was on our minds all night. When that last play came, we KNEW it was going to him; so we went double Z man under, two deep. That metal head got the throw in on a slant pattern but we had people all over him, but it was close. Boy, talk about a heart attack!"

Kaboodle 60.23 - Bleed Blue 45.39

The Kaboodle (3-1) returned to their winning ways and the Blue (1-3) couldn't capitalize on their recent win. It was a defensive struggle as both teams had a difficult time moving the ball and it only took a mistake by the Blue's defense to turn the game. Late in the third quarter, the Blue failed to cover rookie Charles Rodgers on a third and short play. Rodgers got behind the Blue's secondary when Kaboodle QB, Trent Green pulled up after a play action fake. Adding to the Blue's woes was the loss of Edgrerrin James, bothered by a sore back. Said the coach of the Blue, Willie Wang, "Going into this season, we counted on so much on Edge. He was going to be the difference this year. Without him. . .not much we can do." A QB controversy is brewing on the Blue sidelines as star QB Rich Gannon was overheard to say to fellow backup QB, Brett Favre, "Dude, I would have been sooooo much better than that guy! Shoot, even YOU would have been better" in reference to the Blue's starter, Patrick Ramsey.

Looking ahead:

Grant Gophirs (4-0) at flying pigskins (1-3)
Sleepas (3-1) at Fumblers (0-4)
liusers (1-3) at Football Team (2-2)
Kitna Kaboodle (3-1) at The Cough Drops (2-2)
Bleed Blue (1-3) at Stews Crew 2 (3-1)

It looks like it rivalry week, with the Len's (Dan and Laurie) playing each other, Rob playing Kal and Aaron against former landlord, Byron.

Here is this week's waiver priority:

10 Fumblers 0-4-0 .000 203.10 L-4
9 Bleed Blue 1-3-0 .250 171.04 L-2
8 liusers 1-3-0 .250 224.19 L-3
7 flying pigskins 1-3-0 .250 241.68 L-1
6 The Cough Drops 2-2-0 .500 211.53 W-2
5 Football Team 2-2-0 .500 223.63 L-2
4 Sleepas 3-1-0 .750 266.52 W-3
3 Stews Crew 2 3-1-0 .750 291.38 W-2
2 Kitna Kaboodle 3-1-0 .750 318.36 W-1
1 Grant Gophirs 4-0-0 1.000 311.37 W-4

Once again, let me know of moves prior to Wednesday's games.

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