Week 11

A special thanks to Elijah who fills in this week to develop the game wrapups.

*****

Welcome to the Shark Tank - where we would never criticize the officiating.

Week 10 was a week where most of winners kept on winning and ... well, you
know.

Football Team 77.87, Bleed Blue 71.96

Despite a big game by a resurgent Donovan McNabb, the eponymously named Team
held on for their sixth consecutive win. Team was once again powered by
their receiving corps. And even though Torry Holt took a rare week off,
Santana Moss continued to shine with 146 yards and a score. The man he
replaced on Team, Laveranues Coles, almost matched Moss with 125 yards and a
touchdown.

But most of the talk was about the postgame press conference where Blue TE
Tony Gonzalez was not pleased with the loss. He was questioned about a hard
block that took out two of the Team's linebackers. "I'm pissed! This is
war. You can write that down. Ain't nobody care about nobody there. I'm a
*&%$@ soldier! They're out to kill you! So I'm going to kill them!"

Gonzalez later apologized. Coach Wang decided to let the issue slide.
"Tony showed genuine contrition for his words. It says so in his statement:
'I humbly apologize.' That's all I needed to hear. He'll be starting for
us on Sunday."

Grant Gophirs 70.77, Sleepas 64.15

In a stunning turnaround, the Gophirs turned an early deficit into a win to
maintain their one game lead in the Shark Tank by handing the Sleepas their
fourth straight defeat. Ahman Green ran roughshod over the Sleepas anemic
defense with 192 yards rushing, 32 receiving and two scores. Priest Holmes
had another stellar game as the two star RBs needed to offset the brutality
that was Brian Griese. It was not a good weekend for sons of Hall of
Famers.

Coach Len was nonplussed after the game. "Marshall Faulk finally decided to
show up, Moe Williams went crazy and Jamal Lewis continued to be great for
us," Len said. Sleepas CB Troy Vincent said that Len has lost his team.
"Ain't nobody here wants to play for him. He's not listening to the
veterans. He wants to do it his way. We've lost four straight and he's
still living off last year's great year where we went to the Super Bowl."
Coach Len shrugged his shoulders and said, "That's just Troy being Troy.
What do you expect from a guy named Troy?"

The Cough Drops, Presented by Ricola 83.23, Liusers 49.38

The Coughies were got a large game from LaDainian Tomlinson and a surprising
game from QB Tommy Maddox to overcome a pitiful defensive effort to extend
their win streak to two games. The Liusers were unhappy when last week's
revelation, RB Arlen Harris, got into an accident on the way to Ricola Field
and was inactivated.

"Just my luck," Liusers coach Liu said. "Tommy Maddox had a great game.
Rod Gardner had a great game. Like THAT was expected." Tomlinson was
satisfied with his team's performance. "You know, you have to give our guys
a lot of credit. They ran hard. The O-Line blocked. The receivers caught
the ball. They scored a lot of touchdowns. Ain't nobody gave us a chance.
But we gave a 110% and we won."

Kitna Kaboodle 71.86, Fumblers 53.17

In remembrance of the departed former QB Jon Kitna, the Kaboodle got back on
the winning track with an 18-point victory over the Fumblers. Trent Green
and Hines Ward connected for a score and newly acquired LaMont Jordan also
found the end zone. The Davises were a mixed bag for the Fumblers who
remain in a tie for the 8th and final playoff spot. Rookie Domanick Davis
ran wild but Stephen was too busy resting up for the next game. Coach Jung
was not happy. "Why do you need to rest? You have all off-season to rest!
Suck it up and play!"

Coach Len was happy with Kaboodle's game despite missing most of their
regulars. Without Portis, Sharpe and Hearst, they were able to cobble
together a win behind their defense. "We played great. We have a Super
Bowl caliber defense." When told that her defense lost their game, coach
Len replied, "Oh, they lost the game in the alternate dimension. We won
here. I don't know what football universe you're talking about."

Stew's Crew 2 86.84, Flying Pigskins 66.55

After being absent for several weeks, Pigskins QB Daunte Culpepper led his
Pigskins to the brink of victory but they could not overcome the play of K
Jeff Wilkins, who had 4 FGs despite his offense gaining about 122 yards.
"We lost to a kicker. A stupid kicker," lamented coach Sid. "Kickers don't
even belong in the NFL. They're not real football players! Those points
should not even count. Why do we even let them play? They're a bunch of
sissies."

Crew Coach Chang was obviously not pleased upon hearing the criticism of
Wilkins. "Anyone that has a problem with me or my kickers can meet me after
the game. No kickers. Just coaches. I'll take you down." Fearful that
this matchup would bring visions of professional wrestling, the league
decided to settle this with a civilized game of The Settlers of Catan. The
results were not available at press time but the coaches agreed that
Settlers is not much fun with only two players.



Waivers processed
Teams unlocked
Weekly update forthcoming