Shark Tank Football - Week 8 - Celebrating the new NBA season
The STFB is in mourning at the conclusion of baseball season, especially with such a crappy World Series and playoffs. Now there's no real baseball until April. So what are we left with? Well, I guess most of you guys like the NBA. I still like it but it's hard to compare the NBA now with that of the 80s. Remember when we hated the Celtics and Red Auerbach? The guy was a genius. The NBA is almost a victim of itself. But it is better than it was 5-10 years ago and a new season is upon us this week. So the STFB will meld two great fantasy sports together and see what comes out of the pot.
Here are the standings after Week 8's action:
Rk Team W-L Total Avg StrkAfter eight weeks, we finally had a trade! Dave's SBXL Champs and Aaron's Ram Tuff part 2 consummated a four-player deal. SBXL received Donovan McNabb and Drew Brees for Peyton Manning and rookie tailback Wali Lundy. After Week 8's results, advantage: Aaron. But long way to go, right?
1 I Pick Donte'..Again 8-0 730.66 91.33 W8
2 Ophir Gophirs 5-3 599.57 74.95 W2
3 Dan 5-3 531.83 66.48 L1
4 Ram Tuff part 2 4-4 643.96 80.50 W1
5 SBXL Champs 4-4 634.03 79.25 L1
6 Blue 4-4 582.86 72.86 W3
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7 Cambridge Gooners FC 4-4 570.17 71.27 L1
8 Flying pigskins 4-4 522.82 65.35 W1
9 www.hughhewitt.com 4-4 434.18 54.27 W1
10 Brown Town Blues 2-6 566.72 70.84 L3
11 Woodchucks 2-6 519.93 64.99 L2
12 the Jungernaut 2-6 453.60 56.70 L2
Brent L's IPDA remains on track to go undefeated and with mediocre teams trading wins and losses, he has a virtual lock on a playoff spot. With the loss by Team Dan, IPDA enjoys a three-game lead. And looking ahead, IPDA has two winnable games against Woodchucks and hughhewitt.com before taking on the resurgent Blue. But that's later, this is now.
Ram Tuff part 2 (4-4) 117.56 - the Jungernaut (2-6) 49.39
After getting blown out last week, Aaron's Ram Tuff pounded Byron's Jungernaut. Ram Tuff goes against the typical fantasy strategy of having too many players from one team since that likely divides touches, carries, receptions, yards, touchdowns. That's all true but for the fact that the three players are part of football's most productive offenses. Peyton Manning threw for an efficient 345 yards and three touchdowns, all to Reggie Wayne. The triumvirate of Manning, Wayne and Marvin Harrison contributed over 50 fantasy points between them and would've knocked off the Jungernaut on their own.
But throw in 109 yards and a touchdown from former Colt Edgerrin James, a touchdown run from Julius Jones and a touchdown catch from Kellen Winslow made it a cakewalk for Ram Tuff. The Steelers defense had a solid game to contribute to the blowout. Mike Bell's big game from the bench was not needed.
Meanwhile, for the Jungernaut, their playoff hopes continue to fade with their second straight loss. Thomas Jones was a bright spot with 134 total yards and a score but feeble performances elsewhere doomed the Jungernaut.
So this is the part where I'm supposed to compare fantasy teams with their real-life NBA analogues. With Byron's team, he looks like, well, I hate to say it, the Knicks. Look at that team! Randy Moss, Torry Holt, Tiki Barber, Jeremy Shockey, Eric Moulds and Matt Leinart. A cast of overpaid, big time names not producing any discernable results because of chemistry issues. Moss and Shockey are the football version of Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury.
The STFB caught up with Knicks president, GM, head coach, trainer, towel boy and PA announcer Isiah Thomas for his thoughts. "I have one year to turn it around and this is the year. We got a great first round pick in Renaldo Balkman just like Tiki Barber was a great pick for the Jungernaut." Except that despite Barber still rushing for a lot of yards, has scored as many touchdowns this year as Balkman has - ZERO.
Coach Byron J said, "Don't worry, I've learned a lot from Isiah on how to run a team. Now that Tiki has announced his retirement, I'm ready to trade him and his cap space to Brent for Chris Henry and Stephen Gostkowski who will be productive players for us for the rest of the decade."
Meanwhile, Aaron's team looks great on paper and it looks like this trade should revitalize the franchise for a playoff run this year. So I compare them to the Houston Rockets - a team that added Shane Battier and Bonzi Wells. Ram Tuff added Manning and Lundy to give them a truly formidable team. However, they will only go as far as Manning, Wayne and
Battier, always good for a pithy non-cliched comment, added this. "Ram Tuff, like the Rockets, have a tremendous amount of ability and it all depends on the parts blending together like a nice chemical solution. Both the Rockets and Ram Tuff were like water and they added a little bit of acid to get a sustainable reaction as opposed water to acid when they experiment can blow up in the face. But we'll have to check in on SBXL Champs in a couple of weeks."
Though new Rocket Wells said on the record that his new two-year, $5 million deal was "not about the money and that he just wants to contribute," STFB saw him in the tunnel after a preseason game where Wells said, "Man, I can't believe I only got $5 million. I'm gonna play fo' myself this year!" The laboratory is now open.
Blue (4-4) 99.78 - SBXL Champs (4-4) 72.10
It really is hard to say who stinks worse. The Steelers losing to the Raiders despite the team with the commitment to excellence amassing the not-so-excellent total of 98 yards. But SBXL Champs fell victim to the suddenly surging Blue as both teams stand at 4-4. And now the question remains whether the trade of Manning and Lundy was worth McNabb who threw for only 161 yards.
For Blue, this focus of the mid-season surge is easy to spot. LaDainian Tomlinson, after a very slow start, has looked like, well, LaDainian Tomlinson and no other fantasy team may have so much of their result predicated on a single player. Tomlinson had 25 carries for 183 yards to go with three catches for 57 yards and altogether three touchdowns. Marion Barber chipped in with two fourth-quarter touchdowns to put the game away for who have now won three in a row after a 1-4 start. And after averaging only 45.82 points from Weeks 3-5, Blue has averaged 105.72 points each of the last three weeks. With numbers like that, if Blue makes the playoffs, they can potentially be a very dangerous opponent.
For SBXL, outside of runaway rookie of the year Marques Colston hauling in six more catches for 163 yards including 47-yard and 25-yard touchdown receptions. Too bad SBXL didn't pair up Drew Brees and Colston not that it would have dented the eventual final result.
Blue has one great players and a bunch of decent but unspectacular players. Kind of like the Lakers who many pundits don't even have making the playoffs this year. But after two games sans Kobe Bryant, the Lakers are not only 2-0 but they're playing basketball that's a heckuva lot more watchable than having Kobe take the ball and the other four guys standing around. Is there a better power forward in the West besides Ronny Turiaf not named Duncan, Gasol, Nowitzki, Brand, Stoudemire, Garnett, Martin, West, Randolph, Lewis, Boozer, Kirlienko or Swift? I think not.
And I think it's time to trade
Since
We may be lucky enough to see a Blue-SBXL rematch in the playoffs. It'll be the new Pacific Division rivalry! I can't wait to see T.J. Houshmandzadeh blow kisses to his wife like Doug Christie or Tony Gonzalez flop a pass interference call as well as Vlade Divac "takes" charging calls. Or Drew Brees playing the token white guy like Peja Stojakovic. Peyton Manning would've played Chris Webber as the perennial MVP candidate that can't win the big game. But now we'll see if he can't win the big game for Ram Tuff.
Larry Johnson scored four times and Michael Vick threw three more touchdown passes after four last week to pace IPDA to a convincing win over the scuffling Brown Town Blues. With five more games to go, IPDA appears to have a very realistic chance of going 13-0. Of course, now that I will mention this every week, I have undoubtedly put a curse on IPDA. They just better hope they lose before Week 13 instead of choking in the playoffs.
Chris Henry, scrapped off of the waiver wire after having his suspension lifted, made a sensational touchdown catch and the Ravens defense chalked up two more defensive touchdowns along with five turnovers and two sacks.
Obviously, the natural comparison for IPDA is the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls - simply dominating opponents en route to a historical season. And frankly, to compare them to an NBA team from this year would be foolish since no team has the look of an overwhelming juggernaut that will run roughshod over the Association.
The STFB visited Dennis (or is it Denise?) Rodman in his beachfront
For BTB, another solid effort came up short against a stronger opponent. Ahman Green has started to prove his worth with this second consecutive fine performance. Green had two touchdowns and over 100 yards rushing while Marc Bulger threw for over 300 yards and two touchdowns. Receivers Muhsin Muhammad and Darrell Jackson continue their fine play but it wasn't enough.
BTB resembles the Bobcats or the Raptors. Teams that appear to suck (because, well, they do) but have a shot to beat opponents on good weeks. Since we just visited with Rodman, we visited new minority owner of the Bobcats, some dude named
Flying pigskins (4-4) 61.96 - Woodchucks (2-6) 39.79
In a battle of two rather sorry teams, Brett Favre threw one touchdown and kind of ran his way to another (if you've seen the highlight, you'll notice he ain't 24 anymore) and Willie Parker caught a TD pass to help the Pigskins to .500 record with a victory over the Woodchucks. Mr. Ocho Cinco, Chad Johnson, made good on his promise to catch a touchdown pass on Sunday.
Johnson has told Coach Kalvin S that he plans to do more touchdown celebrations again. Kalvin is used to this after having putting up with his "performances" last year. "I kind of like the dancing! Dancing means touchdowns!"
Fortunately for Woodchucks, help may be on the way as #1 pick Shaun Alexander is scheduled to be ready for Week 9. However, it may be too little and too late. Oh wait - he won't play. Yeah, it's over. Start the bus. DeShaun Foster scored the team's only touchdown as the vaunted Woodchucks receivers are victims to shoddy quarterback play.
The Pigskins resemble what the Hornets could be this year. Or maybe last year - a team that no one thought would do anything but ended up surprising everyone. For the Hornets, it was moving to a
While the Woodchucks probably won't be challenging the 1973 76ers that went 9-73, finding a comparison this year is tough. There don't appear to be any really sucky teams in the NBA. The Sonics and Blazers are probably the worst teams in the West and they aren't that or historically bad. In the East, the Knicks did win their first game. I guess the worst team on paper is probably the Raptors. But even they have Chris Bosh. The Hawks are pretty bad too. Let's go with the Hawks since by virtue of the first pick, the Woodchucks ended up with Shaun Alexander instead of Larry Johnson or LaDainian Tomlinson. Kind of like the Hawks did with Williams instead of Paul last year. That was dumb. And this year? Shelden Williams over Brandon Roy. Do the Hawks have some kind of man crush over ACC forwards with upside?
Well, Bruin fans will be happy to know that Cedric Bozeman made the team. He can bring that veteran leadership to a team that needs it. Man, Cedric Bozeman and Jamal Sampson. Two Mater Dei boys from the Class of 2001 that have made it big in the NBA.
And looking ahead to Week 9, Matt is the victim of the Bye Week Blues as half of his team gets the week off. So Brent, we'll see you next week at 9-0. And we'll see the Woodchucks in the draft lottery next year. We'll see which running back Matt picks that will inevitably get hurt in Week 2.
www.hughhewitt.com (4-4) 58.37 -
Thanks to a quiet game from Gooners tailback Corey Dillon, Gooners could not overcome their small deficit on Monday night as HH.com snapped their four game losing streak by edging Gooners in a pitchers' duel.
Rex Grossman was back on the plus side with 252 yards and three touchdown passes. The Chargers defense scored a touchdown and tallied three sacks and recovered a fumble. For Gooners, egads. David Carr did his best Grossman imitation has he threw for a whopping 113 yards and a pick before being mercifully benched. Rookie tight end Owen Daniels caught two touchdown passes and Andre Johnson and Jevon Walker also found the endzone but it wasn't nearly enough. Gooners was the victim of the bye-week blues.
It's nice to see so much serious activity from HH.com owner Warren C. He is the league's resident evangelist and political guru. Well, until next week when the Shark Tank Football Blog will have an Election Day recap! Too bad I don't watch TV and haven't seen any of the commercials. But every time I do turn on the news or something and don't skip the commercials on my DVR, I feel like I'm watching a Lotto drawing or a Casey Kasem countdown of the best songs of the 80s. No to 86. Yes to 84. No to 85. I have to say 84 was a great year for music - you had Prince's Purple Rain, Van Halen's Jump, Duran Duran's The Reflex and the Ghostbusters Theme. And Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney singing together. Outside of Top Gun, 1986 was kind of a down year.
But back to the NBA theme, when I think of a team that always starts out hot and cools off only to save themselves in the end, I think of the Pacers. Seems like every year, they get off to a flying start only to have guys get hurt, Ron Artest and Jermaine O'Neal getting suspended or some other calamity befalling them. This year, well, they don't look that good on paper. Artest for Stojakovic for Al Harrington. What a deal. With Rick Carlisle's defense, they may be the most unwatchable team in the NBA. Even the Grizzlies without Pau Gasol will be better despite Mike Fratello coaching. But I'm pretty sure the Pacers will win 45 games or so and make the playoffs.
As for Gooners FC, I look at the defending NBA champs, your Miami Heat. They'll just go on autopilot all year and then hit the switch near the home stretch. I can see Gooners are trying to pace themselves like they did last year with their lower half finish and rallying to win the title. That plan worked for them last year, why mess with history and success?
Ophir Gophirs (5-3) 77.24 - Dan (5-3) 62.50
Behind the golden arm of quarterback Tom Brady, the Gophirs erased a Sunday night deficit to rally and knock off Team Dan to move into a second-place tie with Dan. By virtue of their higher accumulated point total, the Gophirs would enjoy a first-round bye in the playoffs if the season ended today. But it doesn't. So too bad. And why do people always care what would happen if the "season ended today"?
Brady was near perfect as he threw for four touchdown passes and 372 yards in an MVP-caliber performance. Steven Jackson had 139 yards from scrimmage and Jason Witten hit paydirt for the first time this year. Add in the stout Bears defense and Gophirs are a deserving second place team.
For Team Dan, an average game by Brad Johnson may have helped. As it was, Plaxico Burress and Joe Horn both scored on touchdown catches. Alge Crumpler continues his hot recent play with his fourth touchdown catch in the last two weeks. However, due to byes and the injured Larry Fitzgerald, Dan was unable to overcome his shorthanded roster.
Gophirs have their brilliant superstar quarterback and a bunch of other guys. Sounds like the Cavaliers to me! Tom Brady is LeBron James! Well, except there's no Wise LeBron, Kid LeBron or Business LeBron. Although Brady has one ring for each of LeBron's alter egos. I looked at Business LeBron when he did that 2.5 pike into the pool. He had some bling on his hand but it wasn't no championship ring! The Gophirs are riding their one man team into second place and a solid chance at postseason play.
Meanwhile, Team Dan resembles the Jazz. I just don't see any big time players but a bunch of solid performers that work well as a team. Well, except the only white guy Dan has staring is Brad Johnson. Remember in the 80s and 90s where the Celtics and Jazz were whiter than Michael Jackson except for Robert Parish and Karl Malone? I suppose if you're gonna have your token black guy, he may as well be a Hall of Famer.
So let's roll out some NBA style midseason awards so far!
Chris Paul Rookie of the Year: Marques Colston, SBXL Champs
Right. And he's as much of a tight end as I am.
Steve Nash MVP: Michael Vick, I Pick Donte' Again
Yeah, so if his numbers aren't the best, he's the QB of an undefeated team. That's how the MVP works. Or wait… maybe that's only baseball… Or basketball as Nash evidenced again last year.
Grant Hill Award: Shaun Alexander, Woodchucks
Usually this goes to Fred Taylor or DeShaun Foster. Maybe Foster and Alexander can share the award since they share the same athletic trainer.
Jay Williams Motorcycle Wheelie Award: Ben Roethlisberger, drafted by SBXL Champs
Why the heck would you ride without a helmet? Seriously.
Just because.
Mark Madsen/M.L. Carr LVP Award: Tie - Shaun Alexander, Woodchucks and LaMont
Wow - two first round picks. Both with nothing. But HH.com's loss is Gooners'… uh, loss?
Cedric
Not since the Steve Lavin days of getting all his guys into the NBA in spite of his coaching has a team done so little with so much. Or getting beat despite scoring 90 points every week.
Phil Jackson Coach of the Year Award: Brent, I Pick Donte'.. Again
Now that's how you defend a championship.
Isiah Thomas Executive/Coach of the Year: Matt, Woodchucks
Two potential #1 picks in a row? That's talent.
David Stern League Most Important Person Award: The Shark Tank Football Blog
Just because you know I'm the king.
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