Shark Tank Football - Week 11 - Sponsored by Tru Warier Records and Ron Artest

The goal of the regular season is to just get into the playoffs. Once you get there, you just never know what's going to happen.

Stewart's Just Stew It had an incredible Monday night performance to rally for victory against Elijah's This Team Stinks to surge into first place. Brent's HeHateShaq also emerged victorious to keep pace while Kal's Tiki Torry Terrell fell one game behind. However, thanks to losses at the bottom of the standings, all three teams clinched playoff berths. Meanwhile, Aaron's Shazaam! and Byron's THE JUNGERNAUT pulled off critical wins to greatly improve their postseason hopes.

Here are the standings with three games to go:

Rk   Team                   W-L   Total     Avg 

 1*  Just Stew It           8-3   998.35   90.76

 2*  HeHateShaq             8-3   908.00   82.55

 3*  Tiki Torry Terrell     7-4   987.23   89.75

 4   Blue Power             6-5   989.62   89.96

 5   Ophir Gophirs          6-5   838.31   76.19

 6   Shazaam!               5-6   910.78   82.80

 7   THE JUNGERNAUT         5-6   817.11   74.28

 8   This Team Stinks       4-7   833.92   75.81

 9   unDaunted              3-8   918.63   83.52

10   Err McNair             3-8   778.26   70.75

Well, aside from the national renown that the Shark Tank Football League usually receives from the print and electronic media, the big sports story this week was the Malice in the Palace. Ron Artest decided to take matters into his own hands and as a result, he was suspended for the rest of the basketball season. So Artest, after doing an interview for the Today show, had plenty of time to drop by and give his thoughts on the violence that is professional football. Unfortunately, things eventually got ugly in the Shark Tank League Office.

Shazaam! 96.76 - Tiki Torry Terrell 76.32

After holding sole possession of first place just two weeks ago, Tiki Torry Terrell (7-4) finds itself in the midst of a two-game losing streak as they were soundly defeated at the hands of Shazaam! (5-6). Shazaam! maintains their hold on the sixth spot in the Shark Tank standings.

Shazaam! were led by Edgerrin James who ran for 204 yards and a touchdown. Reggie Wayne caught two touchdown passes as part of a 106-yard day receiving. Jerome Bettis continued his surprising and strong season with another 129 yards. Meanwhile, TTT got touchdowns from Torry Holt and Terrell Owens and a nice game from Drew Brees who threw for one touchdown and ran for another. The defense also registered four takeaways and a score but otherwise, TTT got little help.

Artest was asked whether Tiki Torry Terrell should be accused of choking having lost their last two games. "Hey man!" Artest exclaimed as he stood up and threatened yours truly. "I didn't choke nobody. I ain't no Sprewell. It was as good clean game and Big Ben Afro Wallace had to push me after I barely touched him. It his fault. I don't know why y'all are getting mad at me." Artest then took the monitor that was next to him and heaved it onto the ground. "Choke that!" Unfortunately, Artest stormed out before he could make a statement about the game.

HeHateShaq 63.34 - Err McNair 52.13

In the lowest scoring matchup of the week, HeHateShaq (8-3) overcame a shaky performance to topple Shark Tank cellar dweller Err McNair (3-8). HeHateShaq moves up one spot into the #2 position and is tied with Just Stew It for first place but trails by 38 points. Err McNair is in tenth place but is only one game behind This Team Stinks for the eighth and final playoff spot.

Brett Favre led a late rally to throw for 383 yards, a touchdown and two interceptions. Nate Burleson continued to shine in his new role as a top receiver with another touchdown catch and Antonio Gates solidified his position as the Shark Tank's top tight end with another huge day - 101 yards and his ninth touchdown of the season. Rookie Kevin Jones ran for 100 yards.

For Err McNair, Chad Johnson had a spectacular touchdown catch but little else went right in what is turning into a lost season. The team signed Nick Goings but not in time for Week 11. Quarterback Joey Harrington did not even eclipse 100 yards passing. The team is now on the verge of playoff elimination.

After being promised an opportunity to plug his record company's new album, Artest calmed down and reentered the interview room. Artest wanted to talk about HeHateShaq running back Jamal Lewis, who was suspended two games earlier this season and missed Sunday's action with a sprained ankle that may cause him to miss two more games. "I respect the decision of Commissioner Rob Chinn but I thought the suspension to Lewis was too much. I mean, he didn't do anything on the field. That's just unfair. But I still respect his decision."

"Sorry, Ron, but based upon your comment, you don't sound like you really respect the decision of the Commissioner."

"Well, I just try to stay positive," said Artest as he pointed at the camera, smiled and gave a thumbs-up. "It's all about the love. Jamal's fans came out to support him just like my fans will continue to support me and the Pacers. But yeah, I still thought Jamal's suspension was not fair."

Just Stew It 90.35 - This Team Stinks 74.96

Just Stew It (8-3) got huge performances on Monday night to rally for a win against the fledgling This Team Stinks (4-7). Just Stew It moves into a first place tie with HeHateShaq for first place and sits atop the standings with 998 points. If the playoffs started today, these two teams would be first round opponents.

Just Stew It trailed 74.96 - 37.88 going into Monday night's action. But Eddie Kennison and Corey Dillon each scored two touchdowns and Adam Vinatieri and the defense more than made up the deficit.

Jake Delhomme shook off a fractured thumb to throw for two touchdowns giving him eight in the last three weeks. Michael Pittman carried 21 times for 106 yards and two touchdowns. The This Team Stinks defense continued to marvel as they had three sacks, two interceptions and a fumble recovery along with their league-leading fifth defensive touchdown. But unfortunately, it wasn't enough.

Artest was really excited. Not about this game but about promoting his record label's new CD. "It's all about Allure." Artest was donning his Tru Warier record label T-shirt during the interview and not at all bashful on referencing Allure's new CD . In fact, I think I need some time off from this interview to pursue my career. Maybe I'll retire from record producing and do what I've really wanted to always do: be a musher in the Iditarod. I got the time off from basketball. If I hurry up, I can still round up enough dogs to put together and train for the race.

"And I'll still be back in time for the NBA regular season… I mean, NBA playoffs. Same thing. So I'm missing 73 preseason games. If I can get back in time, I'll be there for the start of the season."

I asked him, "You know, Allure hasn't really done anything the last seven years or so. And their biggest song was a cover of Lisa Lisa's 'All Cried Out.' Why bother promoting such an average group of vocalists?"

"Hey, I'm just tryin' to keep it real and positive, man. The CD, Chapter III, comes out today. Check it out, yo. And I'll see y'all in Anchorage."

THE JUNGERNAUT 87.27 - unDaunted 76.92

THE JUNGERNAUT decided to rejoin the league after a three-week absence and put his best team forward. THE JUNGERNAUT (5-6) snapped a five-game losing streak with an important victory against unDaunted (3-8) and secured its playoff position with a one game lead over This Team Stinks and a two game lead against unDaunted and Err McNair.

THE JUNGERNAUT's Donovan F. McNabb fired four touchdown passes and LaDainian Tomlinson, feeling much better after being hindered by a sore groin, carried the ball 37 times for 164 yards and a score. For unDaunted, Daunte Culpepper had two touchdown throws and Reuben Droughns had 191 yards from scrimmage and a touchdown. Tight end Alge Crumpler had two touchdown catches but the team got little else from its offense.

Artest likened his inevitable return to the NBA to the return of THE JUNGERNAUT. "It was as if they were suspended for five games and picked up right where they left off. That team is like the Pacers. They lose a few guys but they'll be there for the playoffs. We're going to win this championship and even if I don't play, I'll support my team. I just have three goals in life. To win an MVP, a ring, and get this Allure CD to platinum. That would be off the hook."

"Ron, what do you think about the state of football today? There's a lot of violence out there. What kind of message does that send to the children?"

"Hey, yo. I got four kids of my own. I don't want them to see me out there like that."

"I'm talking about football, Ron. But since you brought up last Friday night's fight…"

"Yo, it all your fault that you media keep showing the game. I don't want my kids to see that stuff. But while it was an unfortunate incident, it wasn't all my fault. I was just trying to keep it chill. I feel bad for Ben since he had a death in his family so maybe he was not all there. Keep fightin', bro. I know what it's like to not be all there."

Blue Power 103.75 - Ophir Gophirs 102.84

Speaking of five-game streaks that were snapped, Blue Power (6-5) edged the Gophirs (6-5) to stop Ophir's five-game winning streak. The narrow Blue Power win moves Blue into a fourth place tie with the Gophirs and the two teams would be playoff opponents if the season ended today. Blue Power with 989.62 points is only nine points off Just Stew It for the most points accumulated which illustrates that they need to be taken as a serious championship threat.

That threat is thanks to the right arm of Peyton Manning who continues his assault on history with four more touchdown passes to give him 35 on the season. Muhsin Muhammad has surprisingly regained his Pro Bowl form of 1999 and 2000 as he had 119 yards and two touchdowns and set a career high with his ninth touchdown catch. Rookie Larry Fitzgerald had a big day with 92 yards and a score and has emerged as one of the most dependable rookie players.

For the Gophirs, Trent Green's two touchdown performance made it close but Derrick Blaylock came up about 14 yards short of an Ophir win. It was a balanced effort as six players including the defense got into the end zone and the other two skill players that failed to score each surpassed 100 yards from scrimmage.

A critical missed PAT by rookie kicker Nate Kaeding would also have provided the difference. But Coach Robert Chinn refused to blame the kicker… at first. "Well, you can't blame one player - it's a team sport. Circumstances of the game may have changed and you never know what… oh, who the heck are we kidding. STOOPID KICKER!!! He cost us the game. I hate the guy. But he's a rookie so he's got intrinsic value that isn't totally quantifiable."

We decided to take a break from the interview so Artest headed to the water cooler. But he arrived just as one of the Shark Tank's interns got there and started filling his Nalgene bottle. Artest shoved him out of the way. After some jawing, cooler heads prevailed and Artest returned to the Shark Tank's luxuriously decorated green room and laid out on the plush lounge chair. Another intrepid Shark Tank intern decided to have a little fun. He had just finished his Peet's latte and decided to throw the empty cup in Artest's direction. It struck Artest on the chest and he did not take too kindly to the projectile hurled at him. He quickly jumped out of his chair and went after the intern. Unfortunately, he went after the wrong intern and started flailing at the intern he encountered at the water cooler.

Artest's bodyguard decided to join in and coldcocked the interviewer. Finally, the assistant to the commissioner, who felt she had long been underpaid, decided to exact some revenge so she took her office chair and fired it into the middle of the melee. All of the employees at the Shark Tank Headquarters and Ron Artest's posse started getting into it.

After much pushing, tackling and shoving, things appeared to finally settle down. But then someone pulled the Allure CD advertising cards off the end table in the Shark Tank lobby and hurled them at Artest. Artest got angry once again and punched out a couple of the Shark Tank's researchers and engineers. A couple bouncers in black T-shirts came in and tried to pull Artest away. Then an older Caucasian man with curly hair and wire-rim glasses entered the building. He asked Artest, "Why are you so angry?" Artest just responded by kicking him in the groin. That set off another set of fisticuffs that resulted in some of the observing interns chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

It all finally ended when the interviewer told Artest the whole fracas resulted in a huge increase in Allure III CD sales. Artest dusted himself off and could be heard to mutter, "It is far, far better thing I do than I have ever done. It is a far, far better record I produce than I have ever produced."

Jerry Springer then sat on a stool and gave his final thought once he regained his voice after being kicked. "Why do NBA players and athletes fight with fans? It's a mystery. Is there that much jealousy between millionaire players and their high-rolling fans that fans expect to have a part in the action? Jealousy causes people to do strange and vengeful things and sometimes, we need to step back and wonder if it's really all worth it. So remember, take care of yourselves. And each other."